Ros, the stinkin' dog

Due to the fact that I was working in the area, this past week I was able to go to Steph's parents for a couple nights. On the particular night in question... a Tuesday... I was casually reading through my 'how-to' book on coaching a girl's basketball team... when Ros the stinking dog came along.
"What stinks?" asked I.
"Oh my goodness, can't you smell that Simon?" asked Mrs. Shirley VandenDool to her husband, Mr. Simon VandenDool.
"Well I can't tell!! It stinks outside!" replied my father-in-law.
"Oh, send her back outside! That's horrible!" demanded my mother-in-law.
"It's hard to breathe," observed I, as I rose to a walk to another corner of the living room, where there was equally less air to breathe.
You see, Ros the dog, went out at approximately 9:45 pm to do her evening business, when she came across a skunk underneath the deck. Naturally, as all dog's are persuaded to do, out of cordiality, she probably stuck her nose up close to the skunk in an attempt to say, "hello". The skunk of course, being a prude, promptly turned face and sprayed Ros. Henceforth, Ros became Ros the Stinking Dog.
Something needed to be done.
My father-in-law decided he would kill the skunk. One way or another.
I observed.
He challenged me, saying, "Well, David, what kind of a man are you?"
I, knowing full well what kind of a man I am, inwardly rolled my eyes and followed my father outside.
I tip-toed across the deck. I didn't want any sudden noises to alert the skunk to my presence.
I watched as my father in law tried shoo-ing the skunk out from under the deck using an old flat-headed shovel.
This didn't work.
The skunk went further away from the edge of the deck. We were outsmarted.
"I'll go in after it!" said my father-in-law.
I contemplated. Visions of my father-in-law crawling underneath the deck to try and get a skunk crossed my mind. Yes, we were being outsmarted.
I thought some more.
"I could use the hose and try to spray it," said I.
"Oh, that might be a good idea. We can try that," said my father-in-law.
We tried it.
The skunk didn't come out.
We tried it again.
The skunk still didn't come out.
If I could only get closer... thought I.
I tried it again, this time by walking on top of the deck and above the skunk. Oh, if it sprays me through the deck... thought I...
It worked. The skunk came out. Somewhat nonchalantly. Somewhat ticked off. Skunk emotions are really hard to tell.
It hugged the wall, and wandered through the flowers before having no-where else to go.
"It came out!" I shouted.
My father-in-law swung the shovel.
Nothing really happened.
I think the skunk was a little ticked off now. Skunk emotions become a little clearer as you get to know them.
The shovel came down again.
My father-in-law had succeeded in getting the skunk away from the flowers, where he would be free to swing away without worrying about wrecking the flowers.
I could tell you without a doubt that the skunk was quite irritated by now. It's tail was raised.
Many things happened at once.
The skunk's tail was raised, and its back was arched. It was ready to let loose.
It was aiming at my father-in-law.
I stood to the side and wondered where I would run to should this turn ugly.
The shovel came down.
I don't think that could have been any closer.
The skunk was dead. My father-in-law was this close to sleeping in the garage. And Ros still stank.
This just happened to have happened when Steph and I were seriously thinking about looking for a border collie for ourselves....